Quite a few years ago a person came to me to complain
that their application for an annulment had been refused,
that the Tribunnal had ruled their failed marriage was
sacramentally valid, and could not be annulled. “Why can’t
the Church forgive my mistake and let me get married
again?” this person asked me. Not long after that I
accompanied a different person, who had been involved in
a traffic accident to court.
As we were waiting for the case to come up, several
others were heard by the Judge. One man, when asked by
the Judge as to how he pleaded said, “Your Honor, I am
very sorry and I come to ask for forgiveness.” The Judge
smiled and responded in a genteel Virginia accent, “Oh, I’ll
forgive you, but still I’m fining you five-hundred dollars, but I
forgive you, now pay the clerk.”
All too often, in today’s world, people think that
forgiveness of a wrong committed will wipe out all the
consequences. That is just not so. Even within the
Sacrament of Reconciliation, once we have confessed our
sins, and said the Act of Contrition, we still have to do our
penance. And even with that done most, if not all of us will
still have to spend time in Purgatory after our lives here on
earth. We have been forgiven, but we still have to deal
with the consequences. And sometimes that hurts.
Before we sin the devil likes to temp us, helping us to
delude ourselves saying, “This is really ok.” After we sin
the devil likes to help us rationalize our actions: “It really
wasn’t that bad,” or “Others have done worse,” or even,
“Well, I said I’m sorry!” Rationalization of our wrongs helps
us to see ourselves as the one wronged. We can even
become indignant and angry when called to take
responsibility and accept the consequences of our actions
as if the words, “I’m sorry” wipes everything away.
If the words, “I’m sorry” are heart-felt, if there is true
contrition then there is a willingness to not only take, but
accept the consequences.
This is something we all need to learn and continuously
re-learn – that we need to always weigh, not only our
intended actions, but also their consequences. To realize
that, although mistakes can – and should be forgiven – that
does not mean they can be undone. Again, I hear the
words of the Judge in Traffic Court: “I’ll forgive you, but I’m
still fining you . . . .”